I was there . . .
Dawn Russell
Houston, 1996
Dawn Russell reads her narrative.
My story begins when I arrive at the airport in Memphis. I watched ADAPT members
from Georgia navigate the chaos created by not having a direct flight to
Houston. As I waited to board the plane I was overwhelmed by emotion. I have no
words that describe the shame I felt the instant I realized I had spent my
entire life lying to myself. I had believed I was conscious and responsive to
situations and issues that surrounded my life. I used David to hide my face as
if these strangers with disabilities would see me cry and know I had not only
turned my back on our issues but I had turned my back on them. Before I met
ADAPT I knew two types of people with disabilities, invalids and super gimps and
my plans were never to be either one.
I was born in 1965 in the Mississippi Delta and institutionalized when I was
three. I spent six months in Crippled Children’s Hospital in Memphis before the
Doctors at Campbell’s Clinic admitted that my progress was measurable and I was
able to go home to the Delta. For almost a decade I believed my eventual return
and length of stay depended on my progress and performance. Today I understand
it was not about me at all but about an empty nursing home bed.
As a little girl I spent time celebrating and emulating Dawn’s way, the
rebellion I knew had taken place from the Delta of Mississippi to Memphis
Tennessee. I had no comprehension of how close in time my life was to the recent
history I wanted to be a part of, the birth of Rock and Roll and the Civil
Rights Movement. When I fantasized about my life, I never dreamed two decades
later I would be marching in the streets of Houston for my own civil rights.
Here are a few of my memories from Houston.
I had gone up to the room to settle in for what I thought would be the longest
six days of my life. David had called to see how I was doing when I heard a
knock at the door I said just a minute and I wiped the tears away. I didn’t know
anyone in Houston so I could not imagine who was at the door. I opened the door
and standing in front of me was Dorian Siegel. After saying hello, Dorian said
I’ll be your attendant and he asked me what do you need. My response to him was
change for a coke. When he stopped laughing Dorian explained what he meant. And
his thirty-second explanation changed my life forever. It meant that in the
morning I did not have to worry about taking at least forty-five minutes to put
my shoes on but more important he answered a question I had contemplated for six
years, how would I ever repay David for all he had done for me and if the time
came, how would I take care of him.
I remember my little red sundress and white jacket (thanks’ Tom Cagle for the
fashion advice).
I remember other first time ADAPT members Malachi Cunningham, Little Gordie Haug
and Kevin Irvine.
I remember meeting Ron Ford and becoming best friends.
And I remember the energy in the room as we waited for our special guest to
arrive, Secretary of HUD Henry Cisneros. I had only been working for the Memphis
Center for Independent Living since mid March and had no prior experience with
housing. I knew there were people working in housing authorities across the
country, many their entire careers that would never have this opportunity. I
understood the power of ADAPT.
The night of the party I was talking to Toby and shared with him that when I
arrived on Saturday I said to myself, If I ever get my ass out of here I will
never be back and by Wednesday night I knew I would die an ADAPT member.